Battery powered fans. Plenty of contact solution. Oral B dental floss (Bill is picky about his brand.) Sturdy American-quality kitchen matches. Preschool workbook for Paul. Wall borders beautifully decorating our living room and Paul's room. Seeds for the garden. Yankee candles for Christmas. We came back to Africa prepared to stay longer, all set with everything we needed (things we found that we missed after the first term.) And here we are leaving already! But we go where God wants us. Like turtles, we can make a home wherever we find ourselves. And I am learning the value of making that home special, in the present, no matter where the future takes us. Taking advantage of ministry opportunies. Enjoying life. Cultivating relationships with my husband and sons.
Right now, America will be our base of operations, while Bill teaches several one- or two-week courses in many different countries. But in the future, we plan to travel as a family back to Africa for some longer course teaching (such as six weeks of various levels being taught back to back.) It's not easy to be in transition all the time, and it's hard to say goodbye to people and places that you have come to love. Africa has its hardships, but it's not easy to leave either. I'll always be tied to Africa, and I'm excited about the probability of returning here in the future. It makes the leaving a little less hard. Times of transition and temporary housing mean that there will be inconveniences. But as I look back on how God has been leading, those difficulties seem small compared to the amazing ways He has already blessed us, the amazing life He has given us to live as a family. And the best is yet to come!
There are a lot of unknowns in the future, and I think that women especially have a desire to put down roots and settle in, having a sense of security and permanence. There have been times when I felt my security was pulled out from under my feet--times I wanted to put down roots and was unable to. But I have never regretted letting God lead me to scary places. I never regretted letting go of possessions that would only cause to keep me farther away from God and His plan for me. He is always faithful, and has only caused my trust to grow! It is also beautiful to see how strong our marriage can be when Bill and I are on the same side, suffering together, rejoicing together, supporting each other, going where God wants us and doing what He wants us to do. And I love the way our kids are exposed to a life where they can see the world, learning about other cultures and letting it shape who they are.
For those who are reading my midnight ramblings, I don't know where God wants you to stay or go. There are always obstacles and hardships along the way, even if you stay in one location for a lifetime! But God's command for us all is the same: Trust and obey. I have a lot to learn about following God and growing in my relationship with Him. But one thing I have been learning is not to let fear hold me back. With God on my side, why be afraid? I have learned to face things that I am afraid of, and grow in confidence as I see the faithfulness of God. I remember when I was afraid to speak in front of a small group of kids at a 5-day club. Now God has asked me to do much harder things, like speaking in front of groups large and small, old and young, sometimes in French, and I've found myself doing them without fear! The first time crossing the Jordan on dry ground is a little scary. But the more you see God work things out, the more prayers He answers, the more you can trust Him the next time! So here I go, moving again. May I always be ready to be on the move for God. (If I start grumbling too much, I hope someone reminds me to re-read what I wrote here! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment